Four Way Stop

I was at an intersection in our neighborhood with a four-way stop. As I started to make a left turn when it was my turn I stopped suddenly halfway through my turn. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a young teen running on the sidewalk toward the intersection. And as he neared the intersection, he showed no sign of slowing down. So, I paused, waiting to see what he would do when he reached the edge of the sidewalk. He just kept running - not even stopping for a glimpse of the traffic or to check if anyone was going to let him cross. 

I was so glad I stopped. Had I been on my phone moments before I turned I might not have seen him coming.  Had I not stopped - I might have hit him.

I could tell the truck driver to my left had no idea why I was stopping in the middle of my turn and he was probably a bit upset I was stopped directly in front of him. I can only assume as I was focused on the intersection situation and not what other drivers were thinking. The truck driver could not see behind him and probably didn't see the teen run into the street. I'm not sure how many other drivers actually did.

And therein lies one of our greatest problems. 

We are not paying attention and staying aware of our surroundings.

We are making assumptions when others act - and usually we aren't thinking the best of them - silently calling them names in our head - or maybe out loud!

But what if we put our phones down? What if we paid attention to our surroundings and what was going on around us and paid attention more closely to others and how they were feeling and checked in with them? What if...?

How much better would our world be and our relationships and our lives?

Stop - Look - Listen!

Write As You Can, Not As You Can't -

(Great lesson for writers - and all - Word On Fire - https://www.wordonfire.org/.../spiritual-lessons-for.../)

As an executive coach, I work with clients to bust their assumptions about what is possible, unleash their creativity to solve their problems and develop the courage to actually take steps to make their dreams happen.

When I'm keynote speaking, I always get questions regarding situations attendees are dealing with at work (or home) where they are looking for the one right way/answer. I caution them to pay attention to their intuition, experiences and knowledge and take any advice - books, so called experts, speakers, any source of the "right way" to achieve - with a grain of salt. Meaning - listen to what is being offered and modify it to make it work for you.

At a women's leadership conference I attended - I listened in on a panel discussion. An audience member asked about what to do when your idea is stolen in a meeting. Each panelist had a different suggestion on dealing with others taking your ideas. One said to let it go. One suggested speaking to them outside of the meeting. Another would bring it up to their superior. The last said to confront the situation right there. In my head I thought - "respond with - I'm so glad you loved my idea so much you are sharing it here. Let me share more details about it and how it would bring great value to the organization... I think the best answer would be - it depends.

There is a club for high performers called the 5:00am club. I share the technique in many of my talks. They suggest you get up earlier than normal - and start your day with an hour that includes 20 minutes of exercise, 20 minutes of meditation and 20 minutes of learning. DO NOT TOUCH your cell phone first thing. I share that you can play with the idea to make it work for you. It doesn't have to be 5:00. You can do it at 9:00 - you can do it in any order - you can do each part for one or five minutes instead of 20. IF you like it - take what you like and make it work for you.

TAKE IT AND MAKE It YOUR OWN - like recipes. Don't you typically take recipes you like and over time you've modified them a little or a lot to perfect it for you and yours?

If you'd like a clarification on any of this - or want to brainstorm your situation - give me shout!

This article link is about writing - and all of the "pros" telling you how to get your writing done - schedule time, first thing in the morning, .... But the best way is your way. YOU KNOW what works best for you.

Do it as you can, not as you can't!

Wheel Wait Lifting

I’ve been watching the Wheel of Fortune for as long as I can remember - and according to the show anniversaries - it has probably been over 40 years. That’s committed.

I’ve always thought it would be super fun to be on the show. Though I know it is much easier to solve puzzles from your couch than it is to solve them standing on a stage with the real Pat Sajak and the real Vanna White! Word puzzles have always been a favorite of mine. Maybe because I grew up with playing Scrabble with my mom and other family members. Word games rock.

So I’ve had my Wheel of Fortune ID number forever and thought that would get me on the show some day. I’m not sure if that is all you used to need, but I’ve also applied on-line and updated my application and redid my video submission several times, and redid my photo… - all part of the submission process. I’m actually starting to get audition invitations. The first one was for grandparents and a grand child - but my grand kids aren’t old enough to be on the show. The second one I missed because I was out of the country disconnecting from the world on a beach vacation. I keep checking every day - I just KNOW this is going to work out very soon. Hopefully before Pat and Vanna retire. Pat says he would really like to give away another million dollar bonus puzzle prize before he leaves - and I’m writing here to let Pat Sajak know I am ready to win that prize to make him happy!

For a long time I was wanting and wishing to be on the show - but never really took much action to make that happen. We can wish and want all we want - but without action things will not change.

I’m all in - I’m committed - I’ve lifted the “Wait” on the ”Wheel”!

(Update - I wrote the above last night - The Wait for the Wheel changed today - I HAVE AN AUDITION!!)

Where do you need to start lifting the Wait on your goals?

Water Finds A Way

On a day hike in the beautiful Colorado Rockies, we arrived at the journey's prize - the waterfall. My son and I stopped to enjoy the view and the cold local beers he had packed in his hiking bag. It was a welcome rest and an amazingly relaxing area. The loud rush of the water over the rocks and the refreshing pop of the beer cans were two delights that added to the whole experience.

I was mesmerized by the water rushing over the boulders and down the hill. I watched it flow down the mountain past our cozy vantage point. It worked its way around and over rocks, quickly making its way past all of the obstacles it encountered. 

I think it provides a great metaphor for our risk taking journeys. To be like the water. Never letting any obstacles hold up your progress for very long. When you do come up against an obstacle - remember there is most always a way around or through it. The answer may not always be obvious at first, but with creativity and experimentation - you will successfully find a way to move forward. 

What lessons have you learned from past struggles? How could you apply that learning to barriers to action you are encountering now?

Mother's Day Golf

I love golfing on Mother’s Day. Our two sons and their families are usually in town, and the boys along with my husband and I head to the course. By late morning most of the guys/gals that wanted to golf are finished and off to see their moms. And then - the course is wide open for the rest of us. My sons love that golfing is what I want to do with them on Mother’s Day.

This past Mother’s Day - they were all traveling - including my husband. I was going to golf with a girlfriend - but since the weather forecast wasn’t looking that great on Saturday night - she opted for other activities with her family. I decided to play anyway on my own Sunday and showered and started to pack up for my game. Just then - a light rain started - and it looked like it wasn’t going to end for a long time. So I cancelled my tee time.

The next time I looked the heavy sprinkles had stopped and the afternoon had great possibility - just overcast and the course wouldn’t be very wet. So - I headed off to golf.

It turned out that I was the ONLY ONE on the front nine - what a fabulous blessing - not a soul behind or in front of me. I played quickly - with nothing to slow down my pace. I timed one long hole and I finished in eight minutes - unheard of on a regular busy day. I was smashing my drives off the tee box and sailing down the fairways with my hybrids. My scores were fabulous - the best ever on that course. I’ve never scored in the low 80’s on a course like that - but Sunday I did.

How did I do so well?

Part of it was definitely being in the flow - hitting, moving, hitting again - all warmed up and in the groove. Not waiting on anyone to figure out the club they needed to use, or look for their ball in the woods. I’ve played two days in a row before and always cut my score the second day. Doing more definitely improves the score.

I also think I paid more attention to my thoughts. I enjoyed the quiet time, connection with God and nature. But I wasn’t asking opinions on what club to use, looking at what anyone else was using or doing. I just did what felt right to me - looking inside instead of outside for guidance.

Because so much of the time we look for the answers and advice from others - and what we really need to do is tune into us and what feels right for us.

And for me - that really seemed to work that day.

How do you give yourself more opportunities to tune into you - for direction and the right decisions for you?

That Is Such a Great Question!

When I was young, I was very quiet in school and did not typically ask questions in class. In later years, there always seemed to be a requirement for recitation credit to respond or ask questions during the semester. So, to get the grade I would speak up, but only until I had enough points to make my A. I would then retreat back into the observer mode.
Now, I ask questions all the time - and have frequently received the response - "that is a great question!" I'm a professional coach. Through listening and asking powerful questions - real understanding, awareness and breakthrough become possible for my clients. 
I remember as a young engineer asking a director how to get promoted to the next position. It was a very political answer - not one I was pleased to hear - with nothing really tangible or concrete that I could go away with and say I understood the expectations for advancement. But I do remember him saying that "maybe someday you will be in a meeting and you will ask a question and that will be the key". To think that waiting for an opportunity to ask a powerful question was my only route to the top. It wasn't the game I wanted to play but I kept it in mind. 
How do you get in a place to be able to ask those questions? It's simple. By listening, truly listening, with your heart and your soul (and not with a cell Phone in your face or your lap). By being engaged and coming to meetings or event prepared to participate. 
Through focusing - questions will naturally come to mind. Then - you just have to have the courage to ask. 
I've found it to be one of the easiest ways to network and get to know everyone in the room. When you ask a good question - people will remember you. I've been to some organization meetings that I attend monthly and invariably get - "oh, you were the one that asked that great question at the last event".
In a recent event there were two executives in a fireside chat about partnerships to advance technology in the energy industry. They were discussing how companies were working together to develop products or services. One of the most interesting ones I came across a few years before was Pumps and Pipes - heart surgeons and oil and gas engineers working together to share ideas and technology. After all, they both work with pumps and pipes! I mentioned this to the speakers in the Q&A part of the fireside chat presentation and asked about unusual partnerships they might have experienced. "Great question" they both replied. They did come back with some partnering you would never have thought up in a million years. And when I went up to speak with them after - they exclaimed "that was a great question" again and we started an interesting discussion on collaboration ideas.  
Take that risk and be the great question asker and watch doors open magically for you everywhere! 

The Story Behind the Facade

I love to go into churches between services when the lights are turned down low and the only sound is the trickle of the water in the baptismal font. When I visit San Francisco every year for a yoga conference, I head to the waterfront on foot from my hotel to get Ghirardelli chocolate. I always stop at a Catholic church at the halfway point to say a prayer and light a candle. It's such a peaceful time and spiritually renewing.  At home, I discovered that between 1:00 and 2:00 on Sunday afternoons was the perfect time between masses at my church and the choir practice (which I enjoy when they are practicing early). 

On this particular rainy Sunday I decided to stop by our church between services to review the reading and enjoy my quiet reflection time. When I arrived I noticed quite a few cars in the parking lot. Oh no! What was going on? Would my special visit be interrupted? Today it turned out to be some kind of tour. A gentleman was leading a group around the church explaining the mural, stained glass windows and telling stories about rosaries and prayer cards buried in the foundation. It was fascinating. It made the church even that more special to know some of its history - though it wasn't really that old - probably less than ten years. The tour finished less than thirty minutes after I arrived as I was soon left to the trickling fountain and flickering candles in the dim light of the afternoon. 

But missing half the tour left me wanting to know more. And knowing the half of the story I was privy to hear left me excited, intrigued and wanting to share my new found knowledge with my church going friends who might never have heard the story. 

So many times we fill in the blanks about people and situations and never delve into the real story behind the facade. What a treasure we are missing and what a risk it is to not find out what it really is. I invite you to share your story and delve beneath the facade in your relationships and in situations. You never know what treasures you will discover. 

Graham Crackers and Homemade Chocolate Frosting

My mom always made homemade cakes for our birthdays when we were growing up. There were eight kids so that was a lot of birthdays and a lot of cakes. She usually had some frosting left over and my sister would pull out the graham crackers and dip them in the leftover frosting. What a treat!! If we'd been little entrepreneurs at the time we would have developed Dunkaroos - packages of cookies and frosting for dipping - but Betty Crocker beat us to it.

I have a journal that a friend gave me years ago with a note to write down all of the creative ideas I have. There are now hundreds of ideas on those pages. I occasionally go back through the book and am amazed how many ideas have already been produced by someone else - like the card holder for little kids' hands, the puppy carrier that straps on your chest and the beach lounger with a built in book holder. One friend once suggested to me that I write down all of my ideas in a book and publish it - All the Ideas I Never Had Time to Work On - and let other people run with them. That idea is still on the list.

We have so many ideas for new products or processes for the corporate environment or our personal lives that stay stuck in a journal or a folder or in our head. Why do they stay stuck there? The reasons are as numerous as the ideas. We may have thought at the time that the idea didn't have any merit so we put it aside. Possibly, we wanted time to develop it a little further before we shared it and we never found the time to reflect on it. Maybe we were afraid to speak up because we aren't comfortable bringing ideas to high level people at work that can give the go ahead? And what happened? Someone else came up with the idea later and ran with it, improved the work environment or processes immensely and now they are in the position we wanted to be. (Or with household products or games - maybe they are now a millionaire advertising their idea on the Home Shopping Network!).

What do you do with the ideas that pop into your head? How do you determine if they deserve your time and attention? How do you prioritize when you will address them? What one thing will you do going forward to make sure your ideas are heard and given the opportunity to thrive?

Beyoncé - Feyoncé - Put a Lawsuit On It

There is a retail store in San Antonio that sells wedding related merchandise and has been selling t-shirts, sweatshirts and mugs bearing the Feyoncé mark.  One mug reads "Feyoncé - he put a ring on it". 

Beyoncé filed suit against the San Antonio, Texas-based defendants earlier this year, alleging that they “have willfully traded upon the goodwill and notoriety of Beyoncé, arguably one of the most famous musical artists and entrepreneurs in the world” by offering for sale an array of “infringing merchandise...” This week the courts handed Beyoncé a loss, saying that consumers are unlikely to confuse her name with the Feyoncé brand. 

I think the merchandise is fun. I think their idea is super creative. Is it an infringement? - well - the courts ruled it wasn't. 

Most ideas are actually not new. They are a modification or improvement or they built on other ideas. There are many ways Beyoncé could have responded to this situation. Her Company chose the lawsuit route. I see other options - one being a partnership. These Texas ladies came up with a very innovative play on the song and Beyoncé name. Beyoncé might have connected with them to partner on the merchandise - increasing her good will and fan base and supporting the business.  

I have a friend that makes and sells yoga leggings. She was wearing them to a yoga class she was attending and a fellow yogi inquired about her pants. She shared her business and passion in a private conversation with that woman that was overheard by the yoga studio manager. She was reprimanded and directed not to discuss her business in the studio. What?! The studio could have realized that members really liked my friend's pants and offered to partner on selling the pants in the studio instead of policing private conversations (in which you are allowed to discuss anything you want to). 

So many times we push to be right and make the other person wrong instead of stepping back and seeing opportunities to work together. 

What are your stories? What opportunities have been missed because of the knee-jerk reaction to correct and be right instead of seeing opportunity. What is at risk?

It's Elementary My Dear Watson

I attended a play at the Alley Theatre recently here in Houston with family and friends. The play was Holmes and Watson. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was tired of writing about Sherlock and wanted to get into other things so he killed him off in 1893 - both Holmes and his arch enemy Moriarty went over a cliff and died. Or did they? There was such an uproar from the public that Doyle eventually brought him back.

In this play, three men in an asylum all claiming to be Sherlock Holmes are discovered and Watson is called in to determine which one is the real Sherlock.  At the beginning of the play Watson introduces himself and shares what he has been called to do. You are immediately wrapped up in the situation, believing everything he says. 

But is he telling the truth?

It turns out he wasn't. But because we were initially led to believe that he was in the beginning we accepted that at face value and went through the entire play observing the story as if the real Watson was the man that introduced himself. How different the play would be if we went back to see it again knowing who he really was.

The same is true for The Sixth Sense that came out in 1999. In the movie, a boy who communicates with spirits seeks the help of a disheartened child psychologist. It's ok for me to reveal it after all this time that the psychologist was actually deceased in the movie and didn't realize it. But the first time you saw the movie you had no idea. And once you knew the catch, and went back to see the movie again - it was such an interesting watch from the new perspective.

We are all so quickly pulled into situations accepting things at face value. We need to go a little deeper and stay open to possibilities. How easily our lives get influenced by our first impressions. What a great risk it is not to question and remain curious. Stay aware - stay curious my friends.